General Contractor Humor

A long time ago I worked with a man in the National Park Service who had been on countless Search and Rescues and had seen gruesome things. He had a very dry sense of humor and could laugh at the most horrific circumstances, but as he said if you could not laugh at the situation,…

A long time ago I worked with a man in the National Park Service who had been on countless Search and Rescues and had seen gruesome things. He had a very dry sense of humor and could laugh at the most horrific circumstances, but as he said if you could not laugh at the situation, you might go crazy. Just like any other profession, general contractors have to have a sense of humor. Their job requires coordinating a number of sub-contractors, keeping projects on deadline and within budget. Without a doubt, something somewhere will go wrong and so you have to be able to laugh at the situation in order to do the best to help clients get the best results.

So here's a little general contractor humor.

The Six Stages of a Project:
1. Excitement
2. Dissatisfaction
3. Panic
4. Hunt for guilty parties
5. Chastising the innocent
6. Rewards for those who have done nothing

The job will be done on time – No matter how much you might want this to be true, something inevitably goes wrong. One delay from a sub-contractor can throw the whole project off.

Two general contractors walk into a bar.
'The one says to the other' what are you having? '
The other says' It's been a long day. Hey bartender, can I get a cold beer? '
The bartender says 'Hang on, I have to wait for the guy that pours the beer.'
The first contractor says 'are not you the bartender?'
The man behind the bar says' I supervise the bar. I do not pour the drinks. '
Just then another man came out and poured the beer, set it down. The second contractor also asked for a beer but the man who beloved the beer walked away.
'Hey, said the second contractor. I want a beer. '
'Sorry said the bartender, the order has to go through me. That's an additional charge and I have to make sure you have the funds. '
Fuming, the second contractor thread his money on the table. A guy returned and poured the beer.
'Hey barkeep, can we get some pretzels?'
'I'll let the pretzel girl know. She's currently employed, but I'll send her over as soon as she finishes serving those other people. ”
“No one else can dish up a bowl of pretzels?” asked both contractors.
'Sorry, said the bartender. The pretzel girl delivers pretzels. '
'What's the name of this bar?' demanded the first contractor. 'I'm going to make sure no one I know ever comes here again.
'General Contractor Hell,' replied the bartender.

Nothing wrong with a good laugh!